Staring Into the Mirror
Me to Myself: Who's hot? (Points to reflection) YOU'RE hot. You're so sexy that the words "damn sexy" can't even describe how sexy you are. I mean, just look at you. Look. At. You. Oh, what's that I hear? Nothing, really, except for the vast parade of men knocking at your door to come and claim you. No one in the history of ever has looked so fine as you. So, go out there and remember that you, my friend, are an attractive BEAST.
Reflection: I think it would be best if neither of us mentioned this ever again.
Me: Yeah, I guess it did get kind of we--
Reflection: You can go now.